"Mommy... what?"

That's usually the first reaction I get when I tell someone I'm the MommyProofing Coach.

"MommyProofing."

"But why would you need to proof yourself? And what do you mean 'making motherhood safe for mommies?' What's so dangerous about being a mom? I love being a Mom! It's the toughest job you're ever going to love!"

Very true.

Except many moms play down the "tough" part (along with a lot of guilt and shame! - "But I shouldn't feel tired/bad/needing a break!") and play up the "love" part.

But motherhood is not just tough and it's not just love - it's both. And it is high time we start paying attention to addressing the "tough" part. Study after recent study have found that post partum depression is on the rise* and that it's lasting longer than just the first year of a child's life**. More and more, parents are realizing that truly, parenthood is not for the faint of heart (nor body!).

Yet, when a woman gets pregnant, the first instinct is to get everything ready for the baby- ready her body, ready her home, and ready her philosophies - how will I raise this child? What kind of parent do I want to be? Will I breast feed or bottle feed?

And this focus on our children continues long past their babyhood. Our Mommy Brains are wired to continue to "proof" the world for our kids - whether they are 8 months or 18 years old! And this need to do so is instinctual***, primal - but missing one extremely important aspect:

The Mommy.

MommyProofing is equipping ourselves as best we can for the "tough" part of the Mommyhood equation. MommyProofing is readying our minds, our hearts, and our bodies for a love that can be so all-consuming that we forget our own selves - too many times. MommyProofing is recognizing that juggling the kids+home+partner+work+SELF is such a challenge - physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually; a challenge that you will need to consciously and mindfully meet every single day of your Mommyhood Journey. MommyProofing is saying yes to yourself, sans the guilt and the shame.

MommyProofing is about giving back to your self, so you can actually continue to give to those that need you the most. And it's doing this over and over again, with constant checks and constant recalibration as we go through every stage of Motherhood.

So let's take a pause from talks about cribs, breast pumps, and whether you're homeschooling or sending your child to a progressive school; and let's start having conversations around questions like: how can I be a great Mom if I can't even be a great Self? What do I need to start doing to start moving myself towards a place I've always wanted to be in? Where am I now in my Motherhood Journey and how do I want to choose to live this journey?

Can you imagine the power, the happiness, and the calm of mothering from a place where you are happy with YOU?

That seems like the best gift we can ever give ourselves, our families, our children :)

 

 

 

*http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/06/29/opinion/sunday/the-trauma-of-parenthood.html?referrer=&_r=0

**http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrea-nair/study-postpartum-depression-lasts-longer-than-you-think_b_6538866.html

***http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/01/what-happens-to-a-womans-brain-when-she-becomes-a-mother/384179/